Jeffrey and Michael's Wedding Page
Well, after Massachusetts, San Francisco, Portland, et al., we decided to get legally married. FINALLY!! After 12-1/2 years, the bond which is eternal between us became legally sanctioned.
Some background info, first. When San Fran initially started issuing marriage licenses, we decided to go the proper route and made an appointment with City Hall to get married on April 1, 2004. We held off on making airline reservations until the judges ruled on it in mid-March. Good thing, too, because we suddenly were out of luck. Next, Multnomah (sp?) County in Oregon (home of Portland) decided to follow suit. We discussed it, weighing Portland, OR, with Vancouver, BC, and left it open, but made reservations to fly into Seattle, a midway point between both cities, easily drivable no matter what. When Portland had to stop, we contacted a wonderful woman in Vancouver who agreed to make our marriage legal. We made hotel reservations, got the rental car, contacted the friends and family we wanted to be there, and arranged the site for the ceremony (Peace Arch Park).
NOTE: The invitation that we sent out can be found HERE.
Our good friend, Richard, was invaluable with his help in this suddenly monumental endeavor. He arranged the reception in Seattle for after the ceremony, he booked hotels in the Sea-Tac area for us, and stood behind us through all the pre-marital crises that arise. Now, onto the actual story of the wedding.
First, the bachelors party. Jeffrey's office decides to throw us a bachelor party, including a male stripper for us to enjoy. Now, I have never even been to a bachelor party, let alone been the recipient of one, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. We made out like bandits, gift wise, and had a great time. The stripper was very cute, and VERY friendly. For pictures of the party, click here.
On with the story....
We leave Ft. Lauderdale International Airport on Wednesday morning, about 6:00 AM, for Seattle, with a long lay-over in some city I don't remember now. Poor Jeffrey had been having problems with his back and hip, and was in agony for most of the flight. Apparently, the changes in air pressure were enough to trigger his pain. We finally arrived in Seattle, got the rental car and drove the our motel (the first of several). Checked in, got a hold of Richard and had some quality time catching up with him. The next morning, I drove us up to Vancouver, BC, since I usually drive and Jeffrey was still almost incapacitated due to the pain he was in.
Thursday morning, we got the marriage license, made contact with our legal officiator, and had an overall good time. We were a little sad to see how Vancouver had apparently gone downhill since the last time we were there (approx. 1999). The city wasn't as clean as we were used to, there were a lot more homeless people and panhandlers around. The weather, however, was promising. We had a good dinner and a nice quiet night together before our wedding.
The next morning (the day of the wedding) dawns bright and sunny, full of promise. We have a leisurely breakfast at Hamburger Mary's, a nice gay restaurant. Then we get the tuxedos ready and decide suddenly that we need boutonnières for us and a corsage for my mother. Last minute stop at a florist shop, problem solved. Next is killing time until the wedding itself. Jeffrey tries to exude an air of calmness and confidence, but he's a nervous wreck. Me, I deal with it by chain smoking. We leave for the wedding site almost two hours early, because we didn't know what else to do.
We get to the park, then think that maybe we should get a bottle of champagne and some glasses for after the ceremony. However, the duty-free shop at the border doesn't have anything like that, and we don't know the area well enough to go shopping for them, and we find out that the park doesn't allow alcohol. Now, it's just waiting for the legal officiator and the "official" officiator, our dear friend Carl, and the various guests who are supposed to be there (including my family).
Carl gets there first, followed shortly thereafter by my family, parking on the US side to avoid having to go through US Customs (a royal pain, lately). We choose the spot to hold the ceremony, and go over the rough details. It's in view of I-5 as you approach the Canadian check point, and the international boundary marker is mere feet from us. We discuss positioning the wedding party so that Jeffrey and I are on the US side and the officiators are on the Canadian side, however we would have lost most of the lovely grotto surroundings that attracted us in the first place.
Next, Our best non-gay friend, Bill, shows up with his mother, his daughter (our god-daughter) and her partner. Now we're just waiting for our legal officiator to show up. The scheduled time to meet was 2:00, but she's running late. 2:15, and Jeffrey's starting to panic, but she does show up in time, and we only start about 10 or 15 minutes late (yeah, I know, the old joke about gay standard time).
Carl put a lot of effort and research into the ceremony itself, combining elements of Wiccan, Native American and ancient Celtic rituals into a beautiful amalgamation that came together almost seamlessly. He had the guests form a half-circle, then had us enter from the east. Next, he started the ceremony, invoking the blessings of the spirits from each of the four compass points of a large circle around the gathering. It went something like this:
Jeffrey and Michael's Wedding Ceremony
(Couple
enters from the east.)
To the north, I invite the
element of earth and the great Bear to join me. Please bring strength and stability to this couple.
Hail and welcome.
To the east, I invite the
element of fire and the great Lion to join me.
Please bring courage and light to this couple. Hail and welcome.
To the south, I invite the
element of air and the great Crow to join me.
Please bring wisdom and clarity to this couple.
Hail and welcome.
To the west, I invite the
element of water and the great Dolphin to join me. Please bring love and healing to this couple.
Hail and welcome.
I invite the Goddess, God
and Great Spirit to this scared rite. May
you guide and witness this ceremony and this couple through their life journey
together. We invite all spirits of
Perfect Love and Perfect Trust into this space.
Jeffrey and Michael, you are
about to step into the destiny you chose before this life; to make a promise of
commitment, the fruits of which you will carry throughout this lifetime and
other to come. Knowing this, are
you prepared to continue?
Jeffrey:
I am.
Michael:
I am.
Do you Jeffrey; take this
man to be your partner for life? Will
you remain at his side when life is good, when it is filled with challenge and
fear? Will you laugh and dance with
him in joy? Will you share his
burdens, dry his tears, and hold him to your heart when he doubts himself?
Will you share his dreams; support his ideals while holding fast to your
own? If you can promise these
things without reservation or hesitation, please answer by saying, “I do.”
Do you Michael; take
this man to be your partner for life? Will
you remain at his side when life is good, when it is filled with challenge and
fear? Will you laugh and dance with
him in joy? Will you share his
burdens, dry his tears, and hold him to your heart when he doubts himself?
Will you share his dreams; support his ideals while holding fast to your
own? If you can promise these
things without reservation or hesitation, please answer by saying, “I do.”
At this time I ask you
to offer your own words of love and commitment.
Personal
words of commitment by Michael
Jeffrey, you are the light of my life. You have pushed me to try new experiences that I would never have attempted on my own. You have challenged me, intellectually and emotionally, to keep up with you. Perhaps I have even taught you a thing or two. You have encouraged me when others have not, and you have been a beacon of light in the darkest of times, and a safe anchor in the stormiest of weather.
I know that with you, no matter what may come, we will survive it. Together we are greater than we can ever know, and we can accomplish far more together than we ever could individually.
We are meant to be together, for whatever reason the fates, the gods and the Tao have in store for us. We shall face that prospect with equanimity, with love for each other, and with the love and support of our friends and family.
Jeffrey, I look to the future, and I am not afraid, because I know you will be there with me. I thank you for being at my side, for supporting me, for loving me, and for letting me love and support you. I will do my utmost be there for you as long as my soul endures.
In front of our family and friends, before whatever gods may exist, these vows I make to you:
I vow to be there for you, through thick and through thin, in sickness and in health, through prosperity and adversity, and any other circumstance that life may throw at us.
I vow to support you in the many interests you like to pursue, and be non-critical and non-judgmental.
I vow to let you nag me until you've gotten it out of your system, and I will know that it's coming from love and concern.
I vow to continue to love you and accept you as you are, with your strengths and your weaknesses, and with your insight and intelligence.
Jeffrey, we have been through a great deal in our twelve years together, and surviving that shows we can survive anything.
You know, the poets were right when they penned the line, "Love conquers all."
Your love has certainly conquered me.
Now, let's get this show on the road.
Personal
words of commitment by Jeffrey